sarah winchester’s house

Sarah Winchester, a diminutive Victorian woman, moved to California to build a house in hopes of currying the favor of the spirits she believed to have haunted her. These unnamed spooks (victims of the rifle dynasty she was made heir to by marriage) she held responsible for her personal losses — the early deaths of her husband  and daughter. She held counsel daily counsel with her ghosts, in a well-guarded seance room, where they instructed the placement of her walls, her chimneys, her staircases to nowhere, her lightless Tiffany windows. Sarah Winchester’s well-tended demons built her a house with hundreds of doors and windows, yet with no point of egress — the true “Hotel California” where one can check out any time they like, but never leave. And, for $26, anyone can take a tour. 

The Winchester Mystery House is not a happy place. One enters via the gift shop amidst a crowd, led by a seemingly jolly tour guide, expecting a kooky “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” experience, fed by television specials and hotel pamphlets advertising such. Buffeted by unsuspectingly cheerful urban San Jose (a movie theatre marquee is visible through one of the barricaded landings — “He’s Just Not That Into You”), the house’s true nature is not at all palpable from the outside. Once inside, however, the immediate attic scent of must and the wet chill rising from the stone floors of the carriage house suggest that mirth is, in fact, not the feeling of the hour. The tour guide seems angrily resigned to his post and keeps insisting, through his gravity, that he is funny when he is, in fact, not. Nothing here is funny, or even curious.  The more one learns about the house, the why and wherefore of its labyrinthine halls and vault-like inner sanctums, the less one wants to know.  Every absurd expense seems grotesque and every quirk wrought by superstition demonic. Finally, at the end, one is deposited, relieved, into the gift shop, where no one wants to buy anything. What one leaves the mansion with, instead, is a sense of immense relief. 

Hours later, though, the mind holds fast to the experience. Sarah Winchester has a way of sticking in one’s thoughts into one realizes that the gravest aspect of her entire scenario is that it could be yours or anyone’s. Sarah Winchester built a house for her demons and held their counsel, but perhaps the only things separating her excesses from our own are time, money and the Victorian flair for the dramatic. We all hold counsel with our demons. It is then that one catches on to the fact that this is not a tourist exercise, but a cautionary tale. 

As a diminutive modern woman who has recently moved to California for reasons not entirely clear, I consider myself forewarned. I will hold myself responsible for my personal losses, and I will let them go, instead of building chambers in which to hoard them. I will build simply and with care a home for my desires and hopes and not for my fears and sadnesses, a home in which no windows are blocked and where no doors lead to walls. I shall listen to the one true voice and listen to my heart and not  to my demons. 

And if I do not remember these things — may I find myself back in San Jose for another tour of Sarah Winchester’s house.

Published in:  on February 21, 2009 at 6:12 am Comments (1)

comice pears

I have recently discovered the comice pear, a fruit  so unbelievably decadently yummy that every other sweet delicious thing I’ve eaten in my entire life pales in comparison to it — even cheesecake.

Seriously.

It’s so good that I’m not even bothered by the obvious un-localness of this fruit which has traveled all the way from the far northwest corners of this country to its final resting place in my belly. I don’t care if it came from Sri Lanka — it’s that good, damn it. And cheap, at 99 cents a pound (and considering the fact that each of these babies weighs about a pound, that’s a very good thing).

Anyway, my lust for pears lately has brought me to a line of thinking, which is that I really should be vegan again. If I can get that much pleasure from a pear (or asparagus, or cauliflower, or what-have-you), why do I need meat or dairy in the first place?

I certainly don’t, is my conclusion. But I’ve come to that conclusion before, and I always end up caving — for eggs, for Fage Yogurt, for some cheap and quick form of animal protein when I’m hungry and it’s convenient.

Anyway, before this gets off to be another grave discussion cleverly disguised as an epicurian rant, I should mention other things on my mind.

I finally was able to transfer with work and am really, truly, and finally going back Out West. To Santa Cruz, California.

My mom is helping me move out there, which promises to be an adventure in itself. I secured us lodging for a week here. I start work on the 24th and arrive in town on the 16th, which just happens to be the same day Lance arrives via Tour of California. Coincidence, or fate, I ask you? I think the fact that I am now blonde definitely makes me a Lance Armstrong girlfriend/baby mama candidate.

I’m anxious and excited (or, if you prefer to use my favorite neologism, anxcited) for the move, which has been a long time coming. I came back here, if you’ll recall, thinking that I would only be here for a week or so. More than  a year has elapsed. Granted, it was a year of much-needed growth and change, but nevertheless it’s done and I need to go.

What I’m looking forward to most is a long run in the sun.  I’ve deduced that the allowance for this activity takes higher priority over most other needs. I used to think I was a complex person with endlessly demanding needs and that the secret to happiness was finding a system by which to efficiently fulfill them simultaneously — a way to keep all of the balls in the air. Now I know that there are only a few things that I really need — love, sunshine, running, music, really hot showers, comice pears — and everything else, though comforting for fleeting moments, only serves to complicate.

 

http://bridgetispainting.blogspot.com/

Published in:  on February 1, 2009 at 11:44 am Comments (1)